My breastfeeding journey

These are my views on breastfeeding.When I was pregnant I started reading about breastfeeding, I was amazed by the facts that most moms ignore nowadays. Like the fact that exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6 months  promotes optimal early childhood brain development, and that breastfed babies do better when they reach kindergarten and as they progress through school, and they score higher on IQ tests (Can't remember where I read it, but it was a credible source). Obviously, formula fed babies are smart too, I am not saying the opposite, and I also know that breastfed babies sometimes do worst than formula babies, but just in case I wanted to make sure I did every thing I could to breastfed Lisa as long as I could. I also get the sense that a lot of moms think that breastfeeding is old school somehow; they prefer to prepare a bottle for their babies. So with my new found knowledge I pledged that I would only give the best to my baby, and cliché or not breastfeeding IS THE BEST. Mike and I attended a breastfeeding class and learned a whole lot more. We came out of the class determined we were going to make it work. The instructor said that sometimes breastfeeding is painful the first days, but that if you did your best to have your baby latched correctly then you would not have to hurt (which by the way is not true, you CAN hurt even if your latch is fine). That was the first time I heard that breastfeeding might be painful. Then I talked to Mike’s mom Sherrie and she told me that is was VERY painful at first, then his sister Crystal told me the same. It wasn't until the second day of nursing Lisa that I realized how painful it really was. Lisa was born on a Tuesday and by Friday my nipples were bleeding so bad that the nursing pads were stained with blood. I wanted to quit, I thought that even though I wanted the best for my baby maybe the best for my baby was to have a sane mother. However, my loved ones wouldn't let me quit, and I am grateful for them. Mike, my mom, and my mother in-law kept telling me that the pain was going to go away. The pain did go away, but I hated the first three months of breastfeeding. However, I could see the difference between my baby and babies that were formula fed, even babies who were supplemented with formula. I will never judge a mom who is not physically able to breastfeed for giving her baby formula, if you can't you can't and nobody should judge you because of that, but I will be very disappointed with myself if I know that I am able to do it and I chose not to do it for reasons that would only benefit me and not my baby. After all when you feed your baby formula you don't have to worry about dieting, what you wear, or even you being the one getting up every single time. I remember one day that I thought I couldn't handle the pain anymore, when Mike got home I told him that I was going to give Lisa some formula because I didn't want to nurse anymore. He asked me what the benefits of formula would be for Lisa and I couldn't answer. I realized that formula feeding would only benefit me, and it felt horrible to be that way after I had promised to give her only the best. So I continued nursing although I wasn't very happy. Breastfeeding is so consuming, it takes time and patience, and in the first three months I never felt that bond that all moms talk about, I felt like it was just another sacrifice of being a mother. To add to all the cons I have always had a hard time losing weight, the only effective way for me is near starvation, which you can’t do while you are breastfeeding. And then all of the sudden it all stopped, no more pain or resentment anymore. By the time we went to Utah for thanksgiving I felt like a pro. I then could say all the good things about breastfeeding, that it is the best gift you could give your child, and yourself. I might not have all the facts at hand, and maybe my experience does not reflect that of every single mom, but I know that my baby will benefit from it throughout her life. I don’t even have a problem nursing in public; I have never done it without a cover, but I nurse whenever and wherever my bay is hungry. Today I can say that I successfully and exclusively breastfed Lisa for the first 6 months of her life and that today I still breastfeed her 3 times a day. I have to admit that I look forward to wean her completely, but I am in no hurry. She is less interested every day now that she gets more milk from her zippy cup. I actually miss the quiet moments; I miss the bond that all moms talk about because I know how powerful it is. I miss the way they look after their tummy is full of mom’s milk. Breastfeeding has given me a sense of accomplishment that I don’t get even with my perfect grades at school. It is empowering to know that my body is able to sustain another human being for at least six months or more, and that the benefits of it go beyond what we can explain. I know now that even working mothers are able to exclusively breastfeed their babies and I respect them even more. Lastly, one of the things that I love about breastfeeding is that we never spent a cent on formula. Breastfeeding might not be free, my time has value, but it is very cheap compared to formula feeding.I do not have pictures of me nursing now that I think about it, I wish I had. These are pictures of Lisa right after nursing.

I also miss the sweet smelling poop.I thought her diaper were bad, but then at 6 months when she started solids I realized I had no idea.

At the end it doesn't really matter how you feed your baby as long as you do it having in mind the best for them. I was reading this article yesterday since this week is Breastfeeding Week. I loved it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kim-simon/milk-drunk-breastfeeding_b_3494130.html?ref=topbar

Lisa is UNO

Today is my Baby Lisa’s birthday. I have spent most part of the morning remembering this day a year ago. As you all know my water broke a couple of hours after we picked my mom at the airport. We arrived at the hospital at 2:15 and I started experiencing contractions an hour later. I wanted to be brave so I waited till the last minute to get the epidural. I hated having a needle pocket into my spine, but after I got it I stopped feeling the contraction…for a little while. After 2 or 3 hours I started feeling every single contraction, I don’t know why. It wasn’t like the epidural had run out; it felt like all the sudden it just stopped working. I asked for help but the anesthesiologist was with another patient so I had to wait. After an hour I was screaming in pain and tears were running down my cheeks, I can’t even describe the pain. I guess moms who have had babies naturally know better than me. I asked Mike for a blessing because I felt like I was going to die (sounds dramatic but that is how I felt) Mike was not himself, he was worried and overwhelmed. My mom was the one encouraging me all the time, she just kept telling me that I was doing great, she was also helping me breath through the contractions. I didn’t go to a birth class so I didn’t know what to do. The doctor came and started putting a wet cotton ball against me. He asked me like three time Can you feel this? Yes. Then again can you feel this? YES. Can you feel this? YYYEEESSSSS!!!!!!  I feel everything!!! He then apologized and gave me some more medicine. It helped a lot for a while but then I started feeling everything again. I can’t remember the timeline but by the time I started feeling the contraction again I was 8 cm dilated so the nurse told me I better just take it. The last two hours I was completely out of myself. I will never forget how much I was shaking. I will never forget Mike’s face, he says he hated seeing me in so much pain.  The nurse had told me that I was going to feel the need to push eventually and when that time came my doctor was delivering another baby. The nurse was the one who helped me through the pushing. I pushed for 45 minutes, the longest minutes of my life. While I was pushing I had a fever (till now I don’t know why). One of the things that I remember the most was the horrible pain I experience every time I pushed. I can’t explain it very well, but it was like my back was being crushed every single time I pushed. The nurse kept saying that maybe Lisa was in a weird angle. There was a point when I of course said I couldn’t do it. I said it like four time crying my eyes out of pain. I remember screaming I CAN’T STAND THIS PAIN!! The nurse told me if you want the pain to stop push this baby out of you and I promise it will stop. I know my delivery was probably not the worst ever; I am guessing I had at least some effect of the epidural but to me nothing was worst that the feeling of having my back broken at every push. It helped when Mike told me he could see our baby’s head, it was like a boost of energy. The doctor came and used some kind of instrument to pull baby Lisa a little bit. Mike said it look like something to suction air or something. I don’t think doctor use forceps anymore. I don’t remember how much longer I pushed but all of the sudden the doctor said “Here is your baby” and put Lisa on top of me. I am sure you mom know what I felt. I am not even going to attempt to describe the feeling because there are no words. I can however say this; I will never, ever forget Lisa’s eyes looking at me for the first time. I couldn’t hear a sound for I don’t know how long. It was so beautiful; we were just staring at each other like forever, until they took her from me.

Because of the fever I had, Lisa had some respiratory problems. Again, till today I don’t know what or why it happened but they had to take her to an observation room. Mike went with her and I didn’t see her again until later that day. They kept her because they wanted to make sure her breathing was fine. I got really mad because I didn’t want her to have formula at all, but they told me she needed to eat and because she couldn’t stay with me after the delivery they had to feed her formula.

My precious baby was born on July 31^st at 2:11 pm, exactly 12 hours after I went into labor. Being a mom has made me realize what I am capable of doing. I didn’t know I was brave until I had my baby. I didn’t know I could kill or die for somebody I love that much. It is kind of primitive I guess, but I know for a fact that I would defend my family from anyone and everything and at the end I can’t help but think of the love our Heavenly Father has for each one of us. I am so grateful to be the guardian of this precious angel that has given our lives so much happiness. Today I don’t care that the dropped my phone in the toilet, or that she bit my nose while I was singing hymns to her (I must sing terribly), or that she smeared avocado on Ella’s head, or that she reached down while I was changing her diaper and grabbed a handful of her poop. Today she will be spoiled because I am the only one here that can do that today. I love my family.

These are not the best pictures ever taken, I guess nobody looks awesome after giving birth, unless your are a super star.

Goodbye Black Widow

It finally happened. The black widow is no longer in our lives. Most of you know the story of this car I think. In 2007 Mike found the car online and decided to go to Chicago to get it. I was still living in Mexico so the only thing I remember is him telling me that he was going to pick up a car. It was not until after I moved to the U.S. that I learned that the whole family told him that it was not a good idea. Apparently he bought a plane ticket and went there to buy the car. My understanding is that everybody told him to invest a little bit of money and have a mechanic look at the car before finalizing the sale, but that did not happen. I remember getting a text that said "My car is awesome, I am going back home", that was in the morning. At 7 or 8 at night I received another text that said "The car broke down". That is how everything started. I am not sure how many things were wrong with the car, maybe Sherrie can help me fill the gaps in the story. Fast forward to 2008 when I went to visit Mike in Utah I started seeing problems with the car. We were going to Las Vegas because Mike wanted to take me to see the Cirque Du Soleil. On our way there the car broke down and Mike had to pay a guy to do some fixing, I do not even remember what he problem was, my point is that ever since I came in contact with the car is has been problem after problem. I put up with it because I obviously did not have a choice. While I was pregnant I was very concerned that we were going to have a baby and we were going to have to put our baby in the back seat, with no windows, in a black car, with no air conditioning. I remember having one of those "pregnancy moments", I was crying and I told Mike I was not putting my baby trough it. Of course we had Lisa and no way to change cars, but by the time we started going out with Lisa it was winter. It has gotten very hot lately here in Atlanta, and Lisa had started to sweat really bad. Every time I would take her out her head would be soaking wet. Last week I gave Mike an ultimatum; I said "This is the last time I put my baby in the back of this car" with an angry tone and a dirty look. I thought nothing was going to happen but I though I would put it out there. Mike had told me that he was going to drive the car until it died.
Last Tuesday July 23rd, which was actually our third anniversary the car broke down again. Poor Mike had been working all day and then had to go to class. It was 9 already and there he was stranded on an intersection close to our home. When he called me and told me that black widow had broken down I have to admit I smiled, a real big smile. The next day the mechanic told him that the fuel pump was bad and it was going to cost us 800 dollars. I said NO WAY JOSE!!!
He called the mechanic and told him that we were not going to put more money into the car and asked him to hold on while we figured what to do next. Amazingly, the mechanic offered to buy the car, and that is how the black widow has left us forever.
I could not have asked for a better anniversary present.

This is the only picture of black widow I could find

Anniversary flowers. He also sent me some sushi rolls that didn't make it to the picture, yum

My furniture painting is going very well. I dream of black paint. I will try to get some pictures of the pieces that are done. I have no time to do things around the house. When Lisa is awake she demands all my attention so I paint when she is sleeping. Here are some pictures I took after church last week.

Lisa is not interested in walking at all. She will stand without support if she wants to use both hands for something, but if she needs to move from one place to another she crawls. At first I though that maybe she was a little behind, but then I stopped myself. I can barely keep up with her; she is one busy child. Sometimes I wonder how it feels to have your baby sitting on your lap for ten seconds. Lisa just keeps going, its like she is on red bull and coffee all the time. So I decided that I am not even going to encourage walking until she decides to do it. Can you imagine Lisa moving AND having both of her hands free? That sounds like disaster to me. We were talking to a sales man yesterday while looking for cars and he told me he got tired just watching me trying to keep up with Baby Lisa. Sometimes I wonder why can't I lose these baby pounds I still have a year later. Believe it or not I sometimes forget to eat lunch and end up eating a granola bar while reading to Lisa. Anyway, I will try to take some pictures of my furniture next time.
And thanks for the advice on the food issue, it is still hard, but I am trying to be strong, is just really hard not to give her what I know she will eat when I see how tiny she is and the calories she burns all day, but I guess if I don't do it now and get her used to healthy things its going to get harder the older she gets. Wish me luck!

Lisa eats 1 whole avocado a day for lunch

Ella is the best vacuum/mop that ever existed

I have this problem with my camera, the flash warns Lisa and she always closes her eyes, I cant find an option for a quick flash, maybe the camera doesn't have that option

Lisa loves to take out all of Ella's toys

The Food Issue

This week has been very difficult for me. I always worry about Lisa's weight. Not too much at the beginning because she was a good nurser, and at 6 months when I started solids she turned out to be a good eater. I followed Crystal's advise and started her on green vegetables, her first and absolute favorite food even to this day is avocado. I then gave her green beans, peas, a couple of green Mexican squashes (chayote is the one she loves), when I was sure she ate that without a problem I started with butternut squash, sweet potato, acorn squash, and so on. Then I gave her bananas, and other fruits. She has done so well up until last week. She will not eat anything but avocado. She tries everything once, but then makes a disgusted face and proceeds to either spit the food or just throw it off her tray. I need help, I feel like I have tried a lot of different foods and she just doesn't want to eat. She will be 1 year old at the end of the month so I have started giving her small pieces of whatever we eat, but again she just tries it and decides she doesn't want it. I also have to say that I don't even cook Mexican only, or "American" only food. We eat both kinds of food which I think should make it even better. So if you have any advise please let me know. I am growing more and more frustrated every day, she is obviously not the chunkiest baby and I worry that she is not getting enough nutrients. 

I did not take a single picture this week. Except for this one yesterday with Mike's phone. Sometimes I look at my Baby Lisa and my dear husband and I get this overwhelming feeling of  love that is so strong it make me want to cry and I just wanted to capture what I was seeing when I got the feeling.

Mike and Baby Lisa

 

Furniture-Ella-Phone Pics

I always have the hardest time figuring out what to write on my blog. I usually get frustrated because there is nothing exciting about my life besides my precious Baby Lisa, and I am fairly good at keeping track of her on Facebook (Facebook is the best way to be in touch with family and friends in Mexico)

These past three weeks our house has gotten a big change. We have furniture. It all started when my ex-neighbor Steve was offered a job in South Carolina. Steve is a single man and according to his own words he has always had somebody else do the moving for him. At this point of his life he doesn’t have very many friends, and his kids are far from him and unwilling to help. Since he is going to be working as the manager of a furniture store he decided that he was going to leave his furniture behind, with us. In return he requested Mike to go get the furniture and help do the moving for him. Before we only had our dining room set (see previous post), a futon that Crystal gave us, a queen mattress that Steve gave us, a desk that Mike got from the UVU dumpster, and a little black TV console. Baby Lisa’s room was the only room completely furnished with a crib that Steve found for us, Grandpa Larsen’s changing table, a chair and a chest of drawers form Ikea that Mom and Dad Anthony got for us, and another piece of Ikea furniture we got ourselves. With Steve’s old furniture we now have a complete bedroom set (head board, night stands, and a chest of drawers) plus a king size mattress, we also have two tall book cases, a side table, two lamps, an entrance table, a sofa, and a gigantic chair with its ottoman, and a recliner. Although I was very happy and grateful for the offer, I also felt like we were just getting things that we really didn’t like. Then I felt so bad for having those ungrateful feelings, yes we don’t have the nice modern furniture that we both were hoping to get some day, but our house actually looks like a home now. We decided we are going to make it look more modern with some paint and fit covers for the sofa and chair. If you learned anything from my previous post you would know that I am about to to go on a black paint rampage here pretty soon. Our walls are still in need of some art, but we have the basics I guess. A picture of Jesus, a picture of the temple, and a proclamation of the family are the only things up, oh and some of our engagement and wedding pictures, I love those.

We also went to the Gibbs gardens. Mike has been in charge of the grounds at Clark Atlanta University so he likes to learn about landscaping and things like that. It is really a cool place. We didn’t have time to see the whole thing because we didn’t know it was that big and we had to go back home to pick up our dog for doggy school.

The lilly's garden. I have never seen so many

Ella is my other baby. Between the time we met her in February and the time we actually got her in May something happened to her. When we met her she was good walking on a leash, she was perfectly fine with other dogs, she actually was living in boarding so she was constantly interacting with other dogs, she was happy and smiley. When we got her in May as a Foster-to Adopt trial she was a very stressed and fearful dog. She was scared of the car, the vacuum, the blender, the shower, the washer, the dryer, the stroller, and pretty much every loud noise or sudden movement. By the time Baby Lisa got home from the hospital Ella was much better, I had gotten her used to the stroller and the car seat, and she was fine with the blender, shower, washer, and dryer. She still hates the vacuum. Ella has been such a good sister. One of the memories I have of my first day at home with my baby was sitting on our bed trying to calm a crying baby and looking to my side and seeing Mike sound asleep, and then turning to the other side and seeing Ella so deeply asleep that she was snoring. She has never been fearful or stressed about Lisa, and is very patient.

The first three weeks of Ella with us back in May were fine, except for the fears she did so well with other dogs and people. After a month she became agitated when a dog got close to us. I did not think she was being aggressive because she was not growling or showing her teeth, she was just anxious for some reason. Then she started acting that way with men, and also when somebody would come to the door. I loved Ella since the day I met her so her issues weren’t a reason for me to give up on her. I don’t love her less because of those issues, if anything it makes her more endearing to me. I know she is no way aggressive or a danger to me or anyone in our family, and Mike is intelligent enough to let me know if he thinks otherwise. I kept in contact with the volunteers at the rescue group and two of them are in love with Ella. Michelle and Lane are Ella’s Godmothers. They send her treats and toys in the mail, they have send all sorts of anti- stress products, and even a Thunder Shirt. They have also offered to pay for all training Ella would need. It is because of them that we are been able to have professional help with our dear Ella. We have had two professional trainers assess Ella. Both have told us that she is overprotective of Lisa, Mom, Dad, and her house. Also they have both agreed that Ella is a little conflicted about what to do with other dogs, At first she wants to go play, but because we know that she doesn’t do well we pull her back, and because we pull her back she gets from us that we are stressed about the dogs, or people, so she is confused, and as I have said before, it is not the same thing to see a little tiny dog barking its head off, than seeing a 70 lb brindle dog barking her head off. People would laugh at the first and be scared of the second. I don't blame them. Another "problem" is that whether she is stressed or happy she barks, so even when she only wants to come up and say hello she still comes off a little intimidating. Lately when I realize she just wants to say hello I ask the person if it is okay for Ella to come up and say Hi, I promise them she is friendly. They are reluctant at first, but then they realize Ella is actually very friendly.

So my point I guess is that for the last three weeks we have been taking Ella to school. The class is called Who Stole my Zen, and it is an interesting experience I must say. We do yoga and doga (yoga for doggies). Mike thought it was ridiculous until he saw some improvement. The point of the class is eventually for reactive dogs to relax on command. Maybe one of these days I can take some pictures. They set up the class room with lavender candles and relaxing music, and each dog has its own private segment of the room so they don’t have to see their classmates. Each section has a yoga mat for the dog and one for the owner (unless you take your own) and it also has Zen candles. I have been trying to do my homework with her at home and we are also trying not to expose her to her triggers, at least until we finished the first part of the class. We will see what happens. I just feel bad because Ella is such a sweet loving dog, she loves us, and most importantly she keeps me sane. Sometimes at the end of the day I just want to lay with her on the floor and pet her, hug her, and talk to her, which probably makes me a weirdo. Dogs have amazing effects on people and I know for a fact that if I didn’t have her I would be depressed, I have no doubt about it. I just love her, and I know that people who have met her know that she is just a love bug.

Ella smiling because her friends Michelle and Lane came to visit her.

Ella being a good sister. Did you know that Lisa's first word was "ELLA"?

Ella and Lane

Ella and Michelle. Ella gets several toys and treats every time these guys come to our house. Baby Lisa gets stuff too

Our Fourth of July was terrible it rained and rained. I put Lisa in a cute white dress and I put a pretty red, blue and white bow. For some reason she tried to pull it off of her hair until she did it. I made a joke that she wasn’t a true American and that maybe she just wanted to be Mexican like her Mom. It didn’t go well with Mike, who reminded me that she was born here; he then gave me a dirty look. You don’t joke about patriotism on the fourth of July. Lesson learned.

I will not post another entry until I get my “new” furniture where it should be. Wait for photos.

I do have a lot of phone photos that I just took off of Mike cell phone. Here are my favorites

I had to share this even though I am probably not supposed to do it.

Clark Atlanta University (CAU)  hs a football team and they were playing I don't know what school. The other teams fans decided to vandalize the poor panther. Mike had to go to the school at an ungodly hour to fix the mess, and CAU's pride.

When Lisa was younger she Liked to wrap her head with her blanket, which I though wasn't safe at all. We took the blanket away when I discovered her like this, with a soaking wet head.

My little family in our old apartment. I have to say that no furniture gives you so much crawling training space. Lisa is so good and fast at crawling that she doesn't even bother to even try walking

Shopping at Target

My Babies

Ella at the vets for her yearly shots and heart worm test. She wanted to play with that little guy in the back, but his mamma said no thanks. Most people are scared of Ella's looks. Again, I don't blame them for being cautious.

Baby Lisa had a blow out while sitting on Daddy's legs. You could see the poop on Mike's left leg.

Lisa's room

I love this fashionable coat

Taking a nap in the car

Going out for a walk with Ella and Mom

Waiting for Mom while she visit teaches

Frida and Diego are two of the most recognized Mexican painters. The High Art Museum in Atlanta had an exposition and I had to go.

I don't know much about art, but I do know that Frida was awesome, and so is her work. She painted a lot about pain

Coming out from church

Happy Baby Lisa

At the doggy park where Ella runs wild

smiling at something silly mom is doing

With Dara

Ella is wearing her ThunderShirt during a thunder storm. She  was  so scared that she was "hiding" behind dad

Dara trying to read greeen eggs and ham to Lisa in Spanish

This should be a separate entry. The black widow (our car) has no air cond. and I have to take Lisa's clothes off because there is no windows and every time I take her out of the car she is super super sweaty and hot. My poor baby. If anyone wants to make Mike guilty feel free to email him. Please

Lisa waiting for us to put food down for her to put it everywhere BUT her mouth

Another cute outfit. Terrible picture

 The next pictures are just to show you how it is to be out for dinner with the Baby Lisa M. Anthony. This happened after she had enough of the high chair.

Lisa loving the pack&play while mom cooks dinner

Ella usage

Using Ella's butt to reach my laptop