Lisa is UNO

Today is my Baby Lisa’s birthday. I have spent most part of the morning remembering this day a year ago. As you all know my water broke a couple of hours after we picked my mom at the airport. We arrived at the hospital at 2:15 and I started experiencing contractions an hour later. I wanted to be brave so I waited till the last minute to get the epidural. I hated having a needle pocket into my spine, but after I got it I stopped feeling the contraction…for a little while. After 2 or 3 hours I started feeling every single contraction, I don’t know why. It wasn’t like the epidural had run out; it felt like all the sudden it just stopped working. I asked for help but the anesthesiologist was with another patient so I had to wait. After an hour I was screaming in pain and tears were running down my cheeks, I can’t even describe the pain. I guess moms who have had babies naturally know better than me. I asked Mike for a blessing because I felt like I was going to die (sounds dramatic but that is how I felt) Mike was not himself, he was worried and overwhelmed. My mom was the one encouraging me all the time, she just kept telling me that I was doing great, she was also helping me breath through the contractions. I didn’t go to a birth class so I didn’t know what to do. The doctor came and started putting a wet cotton ball against me. He asked me like three time Can you feel this? Yes. Then again can you feel this? YES. Can you feel this? YYYEEESSSSS!!!!!!  I feel everything!!! He then apologized and gave me some more medicine. It helped a lot for a while but then I started feeling everything again. I can’t remember the timeline but by the time I started feeling the contraction again I was 8 cm dilated so the nurse told me I better just take it. The last two hours I was completely out of myself. I will never forget how much I was shaking. I will never forget Mike’s face, he says he hated seeing me in so much pain.  The nurse had told me that I was going to feel the need to push eventually and when that time came my doctor was delivering another baby. The nurse was the one who helped me through the pushing. I pushed for 45 minutes, the longest minutes of my life. While I was pushing I had a fever (till now I don’t know why). One of the things that I remember the most was the horrible pain I experience every time I pushed. I can’t explain it very well, but it was like my back was being crushed every single time I pushed. The nurse kept saying that maybe Lisa was in a weird angle. There was a point when I of course said I couldn’t do it. I said it like four time crying my eyes out of pain. I remember screaming I CAN’T STAND THIS PAIN!! The nurse told me if you want the pain to stop push this baby out of you and I promise it will stop. I know my delivery was probably not the worst ever; I am guessing I had at least some effect of the epidural but to me nothing was worst that the feeling of having my back broken at every push. It helped when Mike told me he could see our baby’s head, it was like a boost of energy. The doctor came and used some kind of instrument to pull baby Lisa a little bit. Mike said it look like something to suction air or something. I don’t think doctor use forceps anymore. I don’t remember how much longer I pushed but all of the sudden the doctor said “Here is your baby” and put Lisa on top of me. I am sure you mom know what I felt. I am not even going to attempt to describe the feeling because there are no words. I can however say this; I will never, ever forget Lisa’s eyes looking at me for the first time. I couldn’t hear a sound for I don’t know how long. It was so beautiful; we were just staring at each other like forever, until they took her from me.

Because of the fever I had, Lisa had some respiratory problems. Again, till today I don’t know what or why it happened but they had to take her to an observation room. Mike went with her and I didn’t see her again until later that day. They kept her because they wanted to make sure her breathing was fine. I got really mad because I didn’t want her to have formula at all, but they told me she needed to eat and because she couldn’t stay with me after the delivery they had to feed her formula.

My precious baby was born on July 31^st at 2:11 pm, exactly 12 hours after I went into labor. Being a mom has made me realize what I am capable of doing. I didn’t know I was brave until I had my baby. I didn’t know I could kill or die for somebody I love that much. It is kind of primitive I guess, but I know for a fact that I would defend my family from anyone and everything and at the end I can’t help but think of the love our Heavenly Father has for each one of us. I am so grateful to be the guardian of this precious angel that has given our lives so much happiness. Today I don’t care that the dropped my phone in the toilet, or that she bit my nose while I was singing hymns to her (I must sing terribly), or that she smeared avocado on Ella’s head, or that she reached down while I was changing her diaper and grabbed a handful of her poop. Today she will be spoiled because I am the only one here that can do that today. I love my family.

These are not the best pictures ever taken, I guess nobody looks awesome after giving birth, unless your are a super star.